YOUR MARRIAGE AND SOCIAL MEDIA

MARRIAGE AND SOCIAL MEDIA 
Sirnucy Lafiagi wrote
(lecturer  Al-hikmah University)

A few months ago, I was asked to intervene in a marital brouhaha that almost resulted in divorce. The allegation was huge and heartbreaking. It was a case of infidelity and, in this case the accused was the husband, and the crime was serial. It was a devastating experience that almost shattered the life of the wife. I spoke with him man to man and he admitted guilt and was extremely remorseful in his admittance. Between him and Allaah, he had repented sincerely and he wish that his wife overlooks his mistake and forgive him. After all, no one, except by Allaah's mercy and protection is safe from Shaytaan's web.
Says a poet:
ﻭﻟﻮﻻﻙ ﻟﻢ ﻳَﺴﻠَﻢْ ﻣِﻦْ ﺇِﺑﻠِﻴﺲَ ﻋﺎﺑﺪٌ
ﻓﻜﻴﻒَ ﻭﻗﺪْ ﺃَﻏﻮﻯ ﺻﻔﻴَّﻚَ ﺁﺩﻣﺎ
"But by your protection (O Allaah!) no devout would have escaped Iblis's temptation. And how would that be, when he (Iblis) led your chosen one, Adam astray?"
At some point, his patience was wearing off as the wife and mother of three would occasionally threaten him with death; and at times with divorce. He stopped eating at home for fear of being poisoned. He would not sleep on the same bed with her, and would even locked his door for fear of possible knife attack. During the day, he does the house chores and prepare the kids for school. He now returns home immediately after work. On weekends, he stats indoors wife family. Truly, he was sorry.
I advised him to be more patient with her. I asked him to close his eyes for a moment and imagine that the culprit was his wife; how would he have reacted? How many men will forgive such with a pat on the back. He understood my point and promised to endure more and more. AlhamduliLlaah. Our intervention was fruitful and today, the marriage is still intact. May Allaah grant them and us marital bliss.
You see, social media is both a blessing and a curse, depending on how indulged and undisciplined the individual is. It's a world of deceit and lies. Some people get carried away easily by mere fantasies and emotions. It's such a porous world that just about anything could happen. People who are complete strangers meet on social media, and one thing leads to the other and they fall in love with each other and "shits happen."
Every year, sex scandals are exposed on Facebook between people you'd just close your eyes and say, "Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa billaah!" We had a recent scandal that involved abortion and it all started on this platform!
Just a few days ago, another scandal was reported to me involving someone who had just recently got married and had just welcomed his first child. These things don't just happen overnight. They are a product of sustained, unguarded, unrestricted and irresponsible social media interactions.
Some marriages are on the precipice due to excessive freedom on the social media. About 7 years ago, a hotblooded Saudi-based brother who used to be a very good friend alleged that I was dating his makhtoobah over a mere Facebook comment that I made on the latter's post innocently. BiLlaahi alladhee Laa ilaaha illaa huwa, I did not even know who the lady was or what she looks like despite that she was a student in my school. The brother sent me private messages insulting my ancestors!
When the insults became unbearable, I asked a student in my department, Muhsinah, who I learnt is her best friend to bring her to my office. It was the first time I ever saw her in my life. (That big head will come and abuse me now. Lols.) As Allaah willed, they never end up in marriage but the scar he left on my soul will remain till the Day of Resurrection, unless he apologizes to me. Now, imagine how some men would feel reading our jokes and banters with their wives on Facebook.
May Allaah forgive us all!
I've always maintained that no marriage thrives on suspicion and contempt, but sometimes we give our spouses too much to worry about with our social media activities. And no matter how much they trust us, some signs are just too difficult to ignore.
It's a sad tale to tell.