Getting married is not the ultimate goal, writes oni ni'mah.

Getting Married
Marriage is NOT the ultimate goal. Pleasing Allaah IS the ultimate goal. I wonder if I’m the only one who has this mentality. Because I’m always shocked at the way people rush to get married these days, especially sisters. Sisters who I know so well. And then, when you examine the men that they are so in a hurry to get married to…the feeling is just disappointment.  For one, these sisters themselves are still going through certain struggles that most of us go through. The hijaab, niqaab, seeking and acquiring the right knowledge, family issues etc. If you ask them how much of the Qur’aan they have memorized or which book of Aqeedah or Fiqh they have actually sat down to learn under a qualified teacher, they just laugh and brush it off as if it’s a joke. But at the mention of marriage, they get all giggly and overexcited. They are all for it. It annoys me. I wonder if they think that marriage is a bed of roses. Or maybe some fairytale where some ‘Knight In Shining Armor’ will come and sweep them off their feet and whisk them away to a magical land. I guess most of them have this fantasy in their heads that marriage will be a magical solution to their problems i.e. boredom and loneliness. We all need to get real. Seriously. And get our priorities straight.
So many of us have this idea in our head that we want to teach our children the religion, Qur’aan, ‘arabiyyah and all the rest of that but how do you want to do that when you haven’t learnt what you are supposed to learn? You forget that you cannot give what you don’t have. I’m not saying that one must have memorized the whole Qur’aan and all the books of Hadith or studied all the books of Fiqh and Aqeedah before she is qualified to get married. All I’m saying is TRY. Try to learn and understand your religion. Memorise the Book of Allah. Be well grounded in matters of ‘Aqeedah as it is the foundation of Imaan. Seek and acquire the pristine knowledge as it will help you to be conscious of Allaah. Strive to be a woman of value. Be an asset to this Ummah. Be steadfast. Be upright. Purify your intentions.
And then, strive, to the best of your ability, to get married, for it is a sunnah. But be careful not to marry for the wrong reasons. Because if you do, that marriage will not stand the test of time. And do not make it your ultimate goal. It is not the end all and be all. So many people have lived and died without getting married and that doesn’t mean that those people will not be admitted into Paradise. What matters most is what we spent our lives doing. Did we understand our religion? Were we steadfast upon it? Were we sincere in our intentions, speech and actions? Were we patient upon trials? Did we uphold the Sunnah? Did we love Allaah and His Messenger? These are the things that matter.
#JustMyThoughts

By Oni Ni'mah